What are you afraid of? What steals your attention and focus? What is it in your life that you cannot get away from? When you go about your day does it creep behind you attempting to disrupt everything you put your hands to? Is it causing you pain, anxiety, and keeping you from sleep at night? Do you feel as if you are having to choose between this ‘thing’ and who you use to be — hoping the whole time you could remember who you use to be? Do your day’s blur together? Do you wonder if tomorrow is going to be different or simply a repeat of the same pain, the same anxiety, and the same things that keep you from sleeping at night? Are you wondering through your day finding you cannot think about anything else, if anything at all? Some days, do you wonder what you have accomplished or if you will ever accomplish anything at all?
Do you feel worthless, like a failure, like anything you have ever put your hands to has failed? Has your heart been scarred by family, friends, or by that one person you thought would never betray you? When you drive down the road does it hit you like a brick and you find you cannot breathe, and because of the tears that immediately begin to flow you have to pull over and weep? Have you been put on medication after medication, have you been to counselors or seen doctors; have you tried talking to friends or family for it all to only help a little while? Are you trying to find things that will make you better but keep coming up short? Is that an understatement because you aren’t just coming up short but missing it by 100 miles?
Anything would feel better, anything; but isn’t that what you are looking for, a way out? A peace of mind, a little rest, a morning that you can wake up and your head is clear; a morning in which you wake up and your vision is clear, your body doesn’t feel sick, and your pain is not so bad. Think for a moment. How long has it been? How many days, months, and years has it been? It seems impossible, like a dream that is far removed and an idea that is better to forget than hope for.
That was me. It might be you. My heart was running dry and life had become a nightmare I could not escape. So here it is, call it foolishness, call it insanity, and call it anything else you can think of. I am here to tell you with everything that I have that it was Jesus. Where I should have been hopeless, he resorted hope. When I should have been dead, he gave me life, literally. There is nothing he cannot do.
This is where my story begins.
“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy” (Biblegateway.com, 2017).